


a dream about human immortality

by orphan_account



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M, Suicide, i took some canon things and edited them to fit the assignment, i wrote this as a class assignment and translated it in a few minutes so its not too good OTL, its also some sort of an au i guess, shinji isnt there at all but kaworus still In Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 14:17:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12889674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kaworu becomes a human and is so happy. It doesn't take too long before that happiness is taken away from him.





	a dream about human immortality

**Author's Note:**

> my first work that im posting here... ahahahh... hhah......... lets pretend that im not nervous as hell  
> pls point out any grammar mistakes, english isnt my native language  
> and, uh, like i already said in the tags, its just a translated school assignment. i dont mention kaworu and shinjis names at all but i was thinking of them the entire time so i still consider it kawoshin enough to post

Being resurrected as a human - how amazing it was to feel for the first time, feel loneliness, despair, pain - what others feared, I welcomed with open arms.

I loved humans and their tribulation, I saw it as poetic and beautiful, and when I met that boy, the embodiment of human suffering, abandoned by everyone he had loved, his soul as fragile as glass, broken and glued together, everything besides him lost any meaning.

When I sacrificed myself for him, I had accepted my fate, ready to fall into the calm void of death... Except, I did not. My soul persisted, kept on living, and I was resurrected again.

How many times have I tried to stop this! How many times have I tried to reach the inviting nothingness, but my mind just wouldn't die.

I felt insanity, slowly creeping into my brain, into my insides. Was it worth it? My selfish desire to save that boy brought me here, and being human wasn't a gift anymore, no, it was a curse, and I just wanted it all to stop.

At first it seemed tempting to be able to fix all of my mistakes, continue existing, and I had to laugh at these memories, a weird, inhuman sound coming from my parched throat. How childish had my previous hope been! Now I'm sitting alone in this room, holding a knife to my chest, even though I know there's no point. My decaying body is trembling from the cold but I feel nothing, for I am now an empty shell, just the way I was at the beginning, before my first resurrection.

The knife cut deep into my chest, calmness flooding over me. Am I... spared? Was getting rid off the remains of my humanity the only way to finally die?

With my last smile and a question that I hopefully won't get an answer to, my body went limp and collapsed to the ground.


End file.
